As the day dedicated to “coupledom” approaches, so do the sad looks given to those still classified as single.
Apparently, the only way to be a respectable and happy human being is to be in a relationship, or so says all those who are in relationships. But, if you are of a certain age (20-plus) and of a certain denomination (Wesleyan) and are not married, well, you, my friend, have been blessed with the gift of singleness. Or so one lady once told me. Welcome.
Now would be a good time to stop reading and soak in the awesomeness that is your destiny of being alone.
Because you have reached an age and are not dating someone, the mindset is you have lost all hope. People don’t tell you all the things you’re missing out on, for fear of hurting your delicate single feelings.
But just think of all the things you may avoid by not having to constantly worry about another person. Never will you have to share desserts, covers or toothbrushes, which I would advise against whether you have been given the gift or not … it really takes the pressure off.
Some people scoff at being patted and told that “some people are just blessed with the gift of singleness.”
But really, when this happens people should reply, “I know, right, it’s awesome,” and go on to tell them that they love not having to change their driver’s licenses or open joint bank accounts.
But seriously, I don’t think there is any such thing as being “blessed with singleness.” But I do think we put too much pressure on finding someone by a certain age and thinking otherwise we have failed. We live in an environment in which you are judged for being single as well as judged for being in a relationship.
Why can’t we just all get along? Some people like making out on the couches in McConn, and some people just don’t feel the need to have a circular band by the fourth month of a new calendar year. Who are we to judge… oh, wait, we are Wesleyan, after all.